Howdy!

I know most of you read this blog just for the chance that you'll see a cute kid, a cute dog, or my hot wife, so I'll warn you upfront that this post contains none of those things. Just figured I'd save you some time.

Now for those of you who are still reading (thanks Mom), I am in the middle of two months of training in Dallas, Texas following my first two months in Nebraska. I don't really have anything interesting to say other than "Hey, I'm in Texas." I only have four weeks left of a four month slog where I have only been with my family for about 10 days in the middle. Good thing we have phones and webcams!

I'm staying in a really nice hotel (highlight: 42" LCD TV's), but we have to take the hotel's shuttle in order to do anything. That includes eating on the weekends, which is a pain, but actually about the only time I am forced to tear myself away from the football games I watch all weekend long. (For the record: #1 reason to pay for HD = football.) I have learned a person really tends to take private transportation for granted until life revolves around the shuttle schedule.

There really isn't a whole lot going on. I pretty much just get up and go to breakfast. Then class. Then lunch. Then class. Then dinner. Then back to the TV...er...hotel. It makes for pretty long days, but at least the weeks move by pretty quickly. It actually reminds me a lot of the MTC except without the alcohol and profanity. Wait, I may have mixed those up.

So now to answer the burning question that is on your minds: Is everything really bigger in Texas? The short answer: No. The long answer: Yes, if by "everything" you are referring to people, drawls, and the number of fields in the middle of the city that are filled with cows. Why do they have that saying anyway? Because Texas is big? We should cut Alaska in half and make Texas the 3rd biggest state. That'll show 'em. "Bam, bam, bam, bam... How is this a bad plan?" (Because Alaska Part 2 would only have a population of Nanook... except Nanook was in Canada so I guess the population would be zero.)

Do you know what else is bigger in Texas? State pride. Which leads me to a related item that is also bigger in Texas: The residents' level of defensiveness when you make fun of their state. Seriously guys, it's almost approaching Shakespearean "doth protest too much" levels. Maybe I should just stop making fun of Texas, but I can't help myself and they make it so easy. It's like how Eric D. Snider wrote that someone had described him: "[I]t's not that I push people's buttons (bzz, bzz, bzz). It's that I find one button I like and just keep my finger on it (bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)." (See: http://www.ericdsnider.com/snide/uvs-legitima-c/ - Warning: don't read that article if you're a UVSC - Wait...what? They're still doing that? Seriously? Ok - UVU apologist. Thought: Can we refer to their students as Uvulas?)

Interesting Texas fact: Did you know that Texas retains the right to secede from the U.S.? Well, not really, but every Texan I have ever known has told me it's in their state constitution. I guess the interesting fact is that Texans that think so are wrong. Interesting!*

Hmmm. I am now realizing that maybe blog entries are not a good avenue for me to express myself. I tend to be a little too willing to risk offensiveness for a slight (VERY slight?) payoff in humor. Perhaps I can convince Nicole to be my official "bowdlerizer." Though I'm sure most would prefer she just change the password to the blog without informing me.

-Kevin

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* Potentially Boring Footnote: One could argue that Texas has the right to secede because it was originally an independent republic before annexation by the U.S. I don't really buy that reason, though there are groups (probably very small ones) advocating legal secession for Vermont and Hawaii on the same basis. One could infer from the Texas Constitution (which I was actually reading tonight - yes, I try to do my research) that while they subject themselves to the U.S. they basically still think they can do whatever they want. I stand by my assertion, however, that most Texans are wrong since this is definitely not what they mean when they say "Y'all know we can leave whene'er we feels like it? 'Sin our Constushun! Yeehaw!" (That Texan was totally uncalled for. I apologize.)