Thursday, January 24, 2013

Blessed


I have reached the next stage in motherhood.... Again.  I remember it very well when Noah started walking.  My babies are now toddlers (almost 16 months to be exact), and there is not much "baby" left in them if at all.  I find myself dreaming of little jammies and socks and pacifiers and smelling newborn scents and blankets and soft soft things.

I want another baby.  Maybe 2.  :)

It's been the topic of a few quiet but sweet conversations between Kevin and myself lately.  Always ending with a long warm hug and an "I love you...."  And then the familiar heartache of knowing that it's never really been our choice and never really been in our control.  It's been the subject of so many prayers and pleadings with God over the last 13 years of our amazing marriage.  But it's never EVER been our decision.  Whether or not we would bring home a baby has always been under someone else's power.... and according to God's will.

I know that I have to let go now.  And accept that I am done with the tiny diapers and jammies and soft soft things.  And I can... By being thankful with every breath that I have for the 3 miracle babies that I DID bring home.  I feel so very blessed.  I am complete in this moment.

As part of my "catching up" with everything, I wanted to share a very special moment that took place on Sunday, November 20, 2011.  Liam and Xiomara were given a name and a blessing by their daddy in our home.  They were just about 6 weeks old (37 weeks gestation) and had been home for 2 weeks.  We basically kept them shut away from everyone and everything that winter and spring because of RSV season.  But we were so glad to have some good friends there to celebrate that special occasion.  It was a day that I had dreamed about and hoped for for a long time. :)

Liam...  This special blanket was made by Grandma Stephie when Noah was born
and was also used for Noah's blessing.






Xiomara... Her blanket was actually made by a hospital volunteer and she used it in the NICU.
I loved it so very much that they sent it home with her. :)





I call this her "angel shot."  It looks like she has wings.  Very fitting. :)


My miracle babies... 
When I ordered their little blessing outfits, I had to order the XXS, which was for 4 to 9 pounds.





 

 

 


 Kevin and my dad just after the blessings...


Kevin and his good friend, Mike...


The blessing circle (except for Noah!)  Bishop Craig Reinsch also participated and we were glad that he could be there. :)  Grandpa and Grandma Smith joined us over Face Time in Oregon.
Couldn't have blessed the babies without them. :)


Family Picture...


My dear friend Teresa and my mom...


Noah's expressions always make me laugh in these first pictures with the babes.  
He just loves them so much.



I am thankful.  I have 3 beautiful children.  3 beautiful blessings.  I definitely have my hands FULL...

...Full of good things.

@>->--



4 comments:

Amanda said...

Love the pics. Very well said. It was fun to see pictures of old Lincoln friends!

Jaime Dubois said...

I love this post, Nicole! I know it's hard sometimes, and I know that your life hasn't exactly gone as you had planned it. But, you do have a BLESSED life for sure! I am so grateful that your BLESSED life has blessed mine too! Love you all!

Jaime

Brianna said...

This one brought me to tears! Such a blessing to be able to realize how much you've been blessed in the face of adversity. I assume that is a big part of why we have adversity. Love you, and love your sweet family!

Kel said...

I've got baby prayers going for you! I've come to terms with the fact that God's will and the grace of others is how I have children. It's a tough hand dealt to those who are equally tough and loving.

Love you Nikki!

Hey, Jer and I were married in 1999, when were you and Kevin married? and how did I miss you guys being in Love in High School?